Hindi Shayari

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Bhikhari- “Das paise ka sawaal hai baabu, das paise ka|”
Baabu- “Wo to mai deta hoon, lekin pehle sawaal to poocho|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Shikshak- “Kya koi aadmi andhere me bhi dekh sakta hai?”
Ek Chatra- “Haan Sir, meri mummy dekh sakti hai|”
Shikshak- “Kaise?”
Chatra- “Kal raat cinema hall ke andhere me ve papa
se kah rahi thi ki tumhari dhaadi bahut badh gayi hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Aath saal ki bachi ne apni maa se poocha- “Mummy, Rani Elizabeth ko yah kaise pata chala ki unko bacha hone waala hai?”
Isse pehle ki maa koi jawaab deti, sabse choti bachi kah uthi- “Sabhi akhbaaro me chapa tha ki Rani ko bacha hone waala hai| Kya tum samajhti ho ki Rani akhbaar nahi padti hogi?”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Bachi ko jor-jor se roti dekhkar maa ne poocha- “kyo roti ho?”
Bachi- “Bhaiya ne meri gudiya tod di|”
Maa- “Kaise? Kaise tod di?”
Bachi- “Maine gudiya uske sir par maari thi?”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek Maa boli- “Galiyo me khel-khelkar bache
kitne gande ho jaate hai|”
Doosri Maa- “Haan, behanji| Ab dekho na,
das bacho ke muh dhone pade, tab kahi
jaakar mai apne guddu ko pehchaan payi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Seeta- “Behan, bartan saaf karne ke liye sabse
achi kaun-si cheej hai?”
Geeta- “Maine bartan saaf karne ke liye bahut-si
cheeje istmaal ki, par pati se acha kisi ko nahi paya|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Pati- “Mai ghante-bhar se tumhe samjha raha hoon
aur tumhari samajh me baat nahi aa rahi hai|
Tumhare dimaag me to gobar bhara hua hai|”
Patni- “Aur aap use ghante-bhar se chaat rahe hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Master- “Rinku, kya kar rahe ho? Padh rahe ho kya?”
Rinku- “Ji nahi Shrimaan, mai apki baat sun raha hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek Sajjan ne ek saat varsheeya ladki se poocha-
“Tumhare baal vaakai bahut sundar hai| Ye tumhe
kisse mile hai, mummy se ya papa se?”
Ladki- “Jaha tak mera khyaal hai, mujhe ye baal mere
papa se mile hai, kyonki unke sir ke saare baal gaayab hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Patni- “Aap hi is company ki boss hai na?”
Boss ne hairani se poocha- “Are! Aapne kaise anumaan lagaya?”
Patni- “Bahut aasaan tha| Mere pati ghar me bacho ko hansane ke liye aapki hi harkato ki nakal kiya karte hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
School se lautne ke baad Santa ne maa ko bataya-
“Lagta hai, hamari Teacher kabhi nahi nahati|”
Maa- “Tumne aisa kaise samajha?”
Santa- “Vah kah rahi thi ki unhone aaj tak aisa koi
bhi kaam nahi kiya, jo sabke saamne nahi kar sakti|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Nanhi bachi- “Dadiji, kya aap acting bhi karti hai?”
Dadi- “Nahi to, lekin kyo?”
Bachi- “Subah maa pitaji se kah rahi thi ki yadi aap yaha rahi to drama to jaroor hoga|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Maa- “Itne dino se tum apne premi ke saath ghoom
rahi ho, vah shaadi ke liye kuch nahi bolta,
aakhir vah chahta kya hai?”
Beti- “Pata nahi maa, jyada samay vah mujhe
andhere me hi rakhta hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Bus Driver Ramu ko apni seat par baitha dekhkar
bola- “Are, utho shaitaan, meri seat par kyo baitha hai?”
Ramu- “Driver uncle, mai sabse pehle aaya tha|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Jigyasu bache ne poocha- “Mummy, aap papa ko kaha mili?”
Maa- “Ek picnic me|”
Bacha- “Kya mai aapke saath tha?”
Maa- ‘Nahi, jab gayi thi to tum nahi the,
lekin jab mai lauti to tum saath aaye the|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Adhyapika- “Jo kaam tumne nahi kiya, uske liye
tumhe saja bhi nahi milegi|”
Rinki- “Dhanyavad Madam, aaj mai homework bhool gayi hoon|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Adhyapak- “Kya tum kisi badi ladai ke baare me jaante ho?
Ramesh- “Ji haan, lekin baat yah hai ki mummy ne ghar ki baate baahar batane se mana kiya hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Master- “Rakesh, suna hai, tumhare ghar me naya baby aaya hai?”
Rakesh- “Ji, naya kyo kehte hai aap? Jab rota hai
to aisa lagta hai ki barso se rona seekhta raha hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Maa- “Rinku, tum bure bacho ke saath kyo khelte ho,
ache bacho ke saath kyo nahi khelte?”
Rinku- “Maa, un ache bacho ki maatao ne apne
bacho ko mere saath khelne se mana kar diya hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek school me teen bhai padhte the| Inspector ne muaayne ke waqt sabse chote bhai se poocha- “Tumhare bhaiyo ke mooche nahi hai, par tumhare kyo hai, jabki tum sabse chote ho?”
Chote bhai ne jawaab diya- “Meri shakal Papa par hai aur un dono ki shakal Maa par|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Praathmik upchar ki pariksha chal rahi thi| Parikshak ne ek vidhyarthi se poocha- “Agar sadak par koi behosh pada aadmi dikh jaye, to aap kya karenge?”
Santa- “Mai use thodi-si brandy doonga|”
Parikshak- “Yadi us waqt aapke paas brandy na ho tab?”
Santa- “To brandy dene ka aashvasan doonga|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek Chote ladke ne apne adhyapak ko chunauti dete huye poocha- “Agar George Washington sachmuch ek imaandaar vyakti the, to unke janamdin par banko ko kyo band rakha jaata hai?”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Master- “Batao, gadhe aur manushya me kya fark hai?”
Vidhyarthi- “Manushya ko gadha kaha ja sakta hai,
parantu gadhe ko manushya nahi kaha ja sakta|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Adhyapak- “Bacho, mil-julkar kaam karna achi baat hai|”
Chaatra- “Lekin sir, pariksha me aap hi hame mil-julkar kaam nahi karne dete|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- “Maine talaak dene ki or pehla kadam utha liya hai|”
Banta- “Vah kaise?”
Santa- “Maine shaadi kar li hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Train me saamne ki seat par baithe pati chew gum chaba rahe the| Kaafi der baad saamne ki seat par baithi unki patni boli- “Darling, I am sorry, tum itni der se mujhse bole ja rahe ho, par mai jawaab nahi de rahi hoon| Mere beherepan me yahi to musibat hai, jara jor-jor se bole|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Pati- “Abhi Reena ki shaadi ki jaldi hi kya hai?
Bahut samay pada hai| Jab tak koi acha ladka na mil jaye, tab tak hame pratiksha karni chahiye|”
Patni- “Pratiksha bhi kab tak ki ja sakti hai, jab mai
Reena ki umra ki thi, tab mere ghar waalo ne hi acha
ladka talaash karne ki koshish kaha ki thi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Maa- “Beta, tumhaara office ka kaam kaisa chal raha hai| Sab thik to hai na?”
Beta- “Mere neeche pachees aadmi kaam karte hai maa|”
Maa khushi se- “To kya mera beta vaha bada
Officer ban gaya hai?”
Beta- “Nahi! Darahsal mai Upri manjil me kaam karta hoon|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek nai-nai dulhan ne apne pati se poocha- “Yadi mai kabhi moti ho jau to kya tab bhi tum mujhe chahte rahoge?”
Pati- “Kabhi nahi| Maine kewal ache-bure dino me saath dene ka vachan diya hai| Mote-patle ki koi baat nahi hui thi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Putra- “Papa! Sadak banane me kin-kin cheejo ki jarurat hoti hai?”
Pita- “Aaj to sawaal pooch-poochkar tune tang hi kar dala, yadi itne hi sawaal maine apne papa se kiye hote to kya hota batao?”
Putra- “Aapko mere sawaalo ke jawaab dene aa jaate|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- “Ab mai kisi ladki ke saamne shaadi ki
baat nahi rakhunga|”
Banta- “Kyo. Kya phir kisi ne mana kar diya?”
Santa- “Nahi yaar, ek ladki ne sweekar kar liya hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Office me patni ki chithi aayi| Apne maayke se bheji thi| Pati ka mitra patra me jhaankne laga to pati ne liphapha uske saamne daal diya- “Lo, padh lo|”
Mitra ne dekha to chaukkar bola- “Isme to saada kaagaj hai yaar|”
Pati- “Haan| Aajkal hamaari bolchaal band hai|
Vah jhagda karke ghar se gayi hai|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Premi- “Chalo, cinema chalte hai| Pichli seat
ka ticket le lenge|”
Premika- “Agar pichli seat ka ticket na mila to?”
Premi- “To phir film hi dekh lenge|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Patni pyaar se- “Khaana ban gaya hai| Garm-garm
phulke khakar jaaiye|”
Pati- “Burnol (antiseptic cream) hai ghar me?”
Patni- “Haan|”
Pati- “Phir to kha lunga|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek vidhwa ne apne swargiya pati ki kabra par lage pathar par likhvaya- “Yaha aaraam karta hai vah pati,
jo apni patni ke liye paanch laakh rupye chod gaya aur jisne shehar ke saare patiyo ke liye ek misaal chodi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- “Jis din meri patni aayi usi din mera
khajaanchi mere kuch rupaye lekar bhaag gaya|”
Banta- “Tum nahi jaante ki musibat kabhi
akele nahi aati|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek khoobsurat stree jaasusi upanyaas padte-padte
apne pati se poochne lagi- “yadi koi khoobsurat
ladka mujhe bhagakar le jaye to tum kya karoge?”
Pati- “Mai usse kahunga, khuda ke bande, bhagakar
le jaane ki kya jarurat hai, aaram se le jao|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek pustak ke pehle panne par likha hai- “Mohabbat ke maare ko aatmahatya se rokne ka sabse aasaan upaay hai, shaadi|”
Aur usi pustak ke sabse aakhiri panne par likha hai- “shaadi se bachne ka bas ek hi upaay hai aur vah hai aatmahatya|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Maa- “Beta, koyle nahi hai, roti kaise banegi?”
Beta- “Chaaval bana lena, maa|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Seeta- “Hamaare ghar me saara saamaan imported
yaani videshi hai|”
Geeta- “Aur aapke pati.?”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Suhani Sharma

 0 People liked it

Us ajnabi ka youn na intezaar karo
Is aashiq dil ka na aitbaar karo
Roz nikla karen kisi ke yaad mein aanso
Itna kabhi na kisi se pyaar karo..

 0 People liked it

Rehti to tum mere dil mein ho,
to phir main rat bhar jaagta kyon hoon,
sach to ye hai ki tum ek din chod dogi saath mera,
to phir is sachhai se main bhaagta kyon hoon,
par tumhari judaai ka dard main seh nahi sakta,
dikhana main chahta nahi aur main keh bhi nahi sakta,
agar mujhse juda hone ke baad bhi tumhari zindagi ek khilta hua phool ho gayi,
to samajh lena ki tumse juda hokar bhi tumhe
khush dekhne ki dua meri kabool ho gayi
to my love

 0 People liked it

Woh to deewana tha mujhe tanha chhor gaya,
Khud na ruk saka to Apna saaya chhor gaya,
Dukh nahin Gham is baat ka hai,
Aankho se kar k waada baaton se toar gaya.
————————

 0 People liked it